Worry

I've been worrying a lot recently, especially about my job. As I was lying awake worrying tonight after putting our son back to sleep (after a blessedly short wail session), I decided to analyze my tendency to worry. I know it is not of God, and is therefore unnecessary. So why did I feel like it was necessary to worry? Because worry occasionally produces something good for me. You see, I have a problem about being forgetful, and when I worry about something that soul-crushing weight of despair generally helps to keeps me from forgetting. So I realized I was using worry as a memory mechanism. Problem is (besides the obvious problem that this is disobeying Jesus [Matthew 6:25-34]), my worry does not come in flavors. So it quickly becomes impossible to distinguish between multiple worries, and also becomes impossible to know when I can stop worrying. How do I know I'm not forgetting something off my worry list? Self-replicating cycle...

I realized what I need to do instead is think about things as I usually do, but then make action items instead of "worry notes". If a decision needs to be made, make a decision or make a plan to get the info necessary to make the decision. If an action needs to be taken, write it down or put a reminder in my phone or just execute the action. I'm hopeful that this can really work out, because it is a matter of obedience. To be faithful to Jesus, I must stop worrying. I'm hopeful that He will bless any mechanism I choose to use to do that. Anybody got any suggestions?

P.S. - This type of thing is exactly why I have this blog, so if you aren't interested in hearing the semi-coherent ramblings that are bouncing around in my brain @ 2am, you might as well unsubscribe... ;-)